CELEBRITY QUOTES

''There's a lot of noise out there. I just want to rise above it.'' - Rush Limbaugh Feb. 8, 1991 ''Everybody wants f -- -able women in their movies. In this culture, f -- -able women are young and thin and up to maybe 34 or 35.'' - Glenn Close, Feb. 11, 1994

''If you ever hear that I signed up to do Ace Ventura 5, call me up and remind me to put a bullet in my head, okay?'' - Jim Carrey, Aug. 5, 1994

''I have a highly developed capacity for self-delusion, so it's no problem for me to believe I'm somebody else.'' - Daniel Day-Lewis, Jan. 28, 1994

''I am not the archetypal leading man. This is mainly for one reason: As you may have noticed, I have no hair.'' Patrick Stewart, March 6, 1992

''I'm gonna treat (Jay Leno) like we treated the kid on the high school basketball team who was the coach's son. He was there because he was anoited, too. We tried to kick his ass, and that's what I'm gonna do - kick Jay's ass.'' - Arsenio Hall, April 17, 1992

''If you take everything I do at face value, you're going to be horrified. Or intimidated. Or insulted. Or Bored.'' - Madonna, May 17. 1991

''Let's face it, I've made every conceivable mistake in Hollywood. As a matter of fact, I've made them two, three, and four times. I never was a quick learner.'' - Sylvester Stallone, June 4, 1993

''I've sold too many books to get good reviews anymore. There's a lot of jealousy, because (reviewers) think they can write a good novel or a best seller and get frustrated when they can't. I've learned to despise them.'' - John Grisham, April 1, 1994

''Celebrity is a pretty stunning thing. At first I was like, 'They love me! I love them, too.' And suddenly, I was tap-dancing on my pedestal and it was whack! Facedown in the dirt.'' - Sharon Stone, Oct. 14, 1994

''I've got taste. It's inbred in me.'' - David Hasselhoff Oct. 2, 1993

''After we did the pilot, everybody was like 'What show are you on? 902-what?' Nobody (had) heard of us. Now our goal is to beat Cheers, beat them in the share points. Or something.'' - Tori Spelling, Sept. 6, 1991

''A couple of times a year I release this wildness: I dance on tables. If I've got a pretty pair of underwear, I'll show 'em.'' - Andie MacDowell Jan. 18, 1991

''The bad thing about my relationship with Paul (Simon) was that we were simply animals. Where there should be a flower and a gardener, we were two flowers. In the bright sun. Wilting.'' - Carrie Fisher Aug. 28, 1990

''I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor.'' - Jack Nicholson Dec. 8, 1993

''It's only in the last few years that I've given up the fantasy that I'll play right guard for the Dallas Cowboys.'' - Tommy Lee Jones Dec. 23, 1994

''I love karate, it's like a bible to me. But deep inside I'm so...I mean, I'm so sensitive.'' - Jean-Claude Van Damme Aug. 23, 1991