BUMMER VACATIONS

For some, communing with nature means rest, relaxation, and a chance to find oneself. For others, myself included, it means an encounter with poison ivy. Still, I haven't got it as bad as many movie characters, whose forays into the great outdoors have led to their being raped by rednecks, menaced by mutants, and stalked by psychos. It really is a jungle out there. Anyone can brave the elements, but braving the elements and sorting out your home life while some reprobate points a gun at you-that's Hollywood. In The River Wild (1994, MCA/Universal, PG-13, priced for rental), the Gauntlet is metaphorical and literal; it's the nickname of the near-impassable rapids that experienced oarswoman Gail (Meryl Streep) is forced to steer her raft through. Her dream getaway is in trouble before it even begins. As she sets out to show her young son the river she loved in her youth, she's faced with the sheepish bow-out of her husband, Tom (David Strathairn). Guilt finally forces him to tag along, but their resentful son (Joseph Mazello) finds fellow rafter Wade (Kevin Bacon) a more charismatic figure, and for a while it looks as if Streep does too. But it turns out Wade's an unstable thug who makes the family take him, his partner, and their stolen loot through the river's most treacherous passage. That's the common denominator of vacation-terror movies-the parties involved would have been better off staying near home and seeking counseling. In the taut yet predictable Dead Calm (1989, Warner, R, $19.98), a couple (Sam Neill and Nicole Kidman) retreat to their yacht for grief therapy after the death of their child. When they rescue a handsome younger man (Billy Zane) from a sinking ship, he stirs the plucky wife's sexuality while making the shattered husband seem even weaker. If it's not escapism or family trauma that sends movie folks on the road, it's retirement. A veteran cop heads out to the desert with his sniping group of middle-American blandouts in The Hills Have Eyes (1977, Starmaker, R, $9.99). When their camper breaks down, they're confronted by their distorted mirror image-an unkempt, fur-clad crew of inbred killers. Writer-director Wes Craven's simplistic allegory means to say Something About America, and ends on a fairly obvious note about The Savage In All of Us. But as portentous as it is, the movie contains some unsettlingly strong moments: The slow death of the matriarch is particularly harrowing, as is the use to which her corpse is put. And Craven delights in nasty gallows humor, as evidenced by the scene in which a member of the mutant clan (bug-eyed cult-movie icon Michael Berryman) pretends to be help on the way and advises the besieged family members, via CB radio, to stand on their heads. It's implied in Hills that the evil brood got that way from being born on a ! nuclear testing ground; the terrifying hillbillies of Deliverance (1972, Warner, R, $19.98) have no such excuse. While the vacation-from-hell theme has been tackled by seasoned pros and ambitious toilers in exploitation, this is the genre's one true masterpiece, as well as the movie that made it impossible for any man contemplating a canoe expedition to erase the phrase ''squeal like a pig'' from his mind. Macho man Burt Reynolds persuades three businessman pals to take in the glories of a Georgia river before it's destroyed by a dam. To call what happens next disastrous is to make light of their ordeal. Where other vacation-terror movies drive to ''cathartic'' conclusions that are either pat or neat, Deliverance intends to stir both soul and conscience. While The River Wild pays lip service to equally weighty ideas, in the end it's merely an agitated but tidy ride. Everything turns out just peachy-even Dad gets to pitch in and redeem himself-but not before some awe-inspiring whitewater thrills, which, when viewed on TV, will have you worrying about the carpet getting soaked. For Streep, this movie represents less a change of pace than a change of venue: You watch her and think, ''What good acting!'' just as if you were seeing Sophie's Choice. That The River Wild ends with an affirmation of the nuclear family, rather than the shattering of all it holds dear, is a sign of the times. But in the end, all vacation-terror films, old and new, have the same message: Stay home! Go to the movies or, better yet, rent a video! The River Wild: B Dead Calm: B- The Hills Have Eyes: C+ Deliverance: A+

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