''They do the same sketches every week. It's a string of idiotic catchphrases. Yeah, that's the ticket.'' -Jay (Jon Lovitz), slamming an SNL-like show, on The Critic ''Listening to these guys, you gotta wonder if the gene pool dried up.'' -Det. Andy Sipowicz (Dennis Franz), after interrogating a pair of dim-witted suspects, on NYPD Blue
''Here's the inscription: 'I will never love an otter.''' -Tim (Tim Allen), misreading the words on his wife's wedding ring, on Home Improvement
''My mom always said men are like linoleum floors: Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for 30 years.'' -Grace (Brett Butler) on Grace Under Fire
