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1 AMERICA'S CUP A man's joined the all-woman team. He thinks it's a D.
2 KATO They should give him a part in the next Star Trek movie. They'll never find a better space cadet.
3 DON JUAN DEMARCO Johnny Depp thinks he's the world's most famous lover. But he doesn't let it interfere with his presidential duties.
4 BORN TO BE WILD The adventures of a boy and his gorilla. So that's who gets the parts Schwarzenegger turns down.
5 PRINCE CHARLES He says the English language is being corrupted by Americans. 'E's bloody well jokin', id'n 'e?
6 CIRCLE OF FRIENDS A plain Jane snags the class hunk. And when do the Klingons show up?
7 KILLER SANDWICHES I'd like a BLT. Hold the mayo. And the meat. And the salt. And the bread. Could I get an extra napkin? I may want to eat it.
8 THE 1,100-SQUARE-MILE ICEBERG A huge chunk of the Antarctic is drifting out to the Atlantic. It found out about Slurpees, and it's pissed.
9 JEFFERSON IN PARIS A warts-and-all portrait of the great man. It's how our history books would have read if Ben Franklin had invented Hard Copy, too.
10 ACE VENTURA VIDEOTAPES Someone claims there's a porn film during the closing credits. Like anyone who would be offended got that far.
11 LARRY KING He's getting married for the fifth time. Enquiring minds want to know: Is she a better kisser than Brando?
12 OPENING DAY Replacements prepare for their big moment. Maybe they can get Roseanne's new hubby to toss the first ball.
13 PRIEST Catholics aren't happy with this movie about two philandering fathers. ''Going my way'' shouldn't be a pickup line.
14 THE ACADEMY AWARDS The biggest surprise was how tame it was. That's the catch with 12-step programs. They work.
15 MIKE TYSON He must be on his way back to the big time. Kato's already asked to live with him.
