MOST PROFESSIONAL PRESENTERS Oprah Winfrey and Jeremy Irons
MOST LIFELESS PRESENTER Matt Dillon
MOST INDECIPHERABLE PRESENTER Ellen Barkin, rambling: ''If a tree falls on Forrest Gump...''
MOST MARBLE-MOUTHED PRESENTER Keanu Reeves, struggling his way through the introduction of a clip from Pulp Fiction
MOST IMPROVED PRESENTER Tommy Lee Jones (who was bald at last year's ceremonies)
BIGGEST GAFFE Paul Newman's failing to announce four of the nominees for Cinematography (he read only Forrest Gump -- which lost)
CUTEST COUPLE Diane Keaton and Steve Martin
STRANGEST COUPLE David Geffen and Sally Field
PERSON NOT NOMINATED WHO SPENT THE MOST TIME ON SCREEN Sharon Stone
BEST BATTING AVERAGE Ed Wood (2 nominations, 2 wins)
WORST BATTING AVERAGE Miramax (22 nominations, 2 wins)
MOST WELCOME HONESTY FROM A WINNER ''I think everyone who saw [Ed Wood] is in this room tonight.'' -- Martin Landau
LEAST WELCOME HONESTY FROM A WINNER ''I really have to take a pee.'' -- Pulp Fiction screenwriter Roger Avary
BEST USE OF SMALL CHILD AS AN ACCESSORY Nikita Mikhalkov's bringing his daughter on stage
WORST USE OF SMALL CHILD AS AN ACCESSORY Steven Spielberg's delaying the announcement of Best Director by saying, ''Alex, your father [Robert Zemeckis] just won the Academy Award!'' Ugh!
BIGGEST TYPO EVER SEEN BY A BILLION PEOPLE Gandhi, misspelled as Ghandi on Letterman's Top Ten list
BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE Tom Hanks' (next year it'll probably be a throne)
SCARIEST THOUGHT That Arnold Schwarzenegger might really be Clint Eastwood's love child
MOST THERE'S-NO-BUSINESS-LIKE-SHOW-BUSINESS MOMENT The audience's deciding to serve as a rising-and-falling applause meter during the roll call of dead Hollywood legends
BEST SPEECH ''Grazie.'' -- Michelangelo Antonioni
RANKEST SEXISM The audience's continuing its tradition of giving a standing ovation to Best Actor but not Best Actress
WRYEST SCOLDING OF THE ACADEMY FOR RANK SEXISM ''The Academy congratulates all of the men -- AND NOT ONE WOMAN -- who were honored that night.'' -- Jamie Lee Curtis, giving the technical and scientific awards
Add your comment
The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject or we might delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk * indicates a required field.