1 TAKE OUR DAUGHTERS TO WORK DAY So they can learn that men don't do any more work at the office than they do around the house.
2 LETTERMAN IN LONDON Diana, Uma. Uma, Diana.
3 DESTINY TURNS ON THE RADIO Pulp Fiction director Quentin Tarantino stars. What he really wants to do is act.
4 LISTEN TO MY HEART By Kathie Lee Gifford. This is what happens when we let Care-Bears mate.
5 SWIMMING WITH SHARKS A gofer takes a job with the world's worst boss just to get work in the movie business. Does Streisand sing in this or just act?
6 LUNATIC-FRINGE MILITIAS They run around the woods with guns complaining that the government won't let them run around the woods with guns.
7 OPENING DAY Professional baseball returns. Thank goodness. It was getting very hard to find a $3 hot dog.
8 CHRISTIAN SLATER His old girlfriend wants half of his recent earnings. Maybe she works for the IRS.
9 MAY SWEEPS The networks will do almost anything to get you to watch. Firing a few executives live might do it.
10 VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED No, it's not Washington.
11 HOME IMPROVEMENT Tim Allen's been fixing the house for 100 episodes. How come it still looks exactly the same?
12 TOP DOG Chuck Norris and a French briard. If they can teach a dog to act, why can't they teach a martial-arts expert?
13 BRIAN WILSON He's thinking of rejoining the Beach Boys. Let's hope his voice doesn't change when he goes through puberty.
14 HBO'S MIKE TYSON STORY What we used to call ''a likely.''
15 PAVAROTTI PERFUME The great tenor has introduced a scent of his own. Eau No!
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