''All of a sudden I yelled, 'I love you!' and he got this look like Indiana Jones running from the big ball.'' -- Roz (Peri Gilpin), recounting a bad date, on Frasier

''Get this: Anna Nicole Smith has a cast on her arm. Apparently, she took off her bra without a spotter.'' -- Conan O'Brien on Late Night

''Bob Barker may countersue Dian Parkinson, but he says he'll drop the suit if she can guess how much he would have sued her for without going over the actual retail amount.'' -- Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

''He's like a big golden retriever.... If you take your eyes off him for one second, he's going to run right out into traffic.'' -- Laurie Metcalf, describing Roseanne guest star Kato Kaelin, on Late Show


Sign up for EW.com's What to Watch Newsletter!

What to watch on TV. Hear what's on tap for the night ahead and get witty, morning after recaps of top shows (sent weekday mornings).