Talk Souped Up

Question: Dr. Greene [on ER] seems like a sensitive type. Is this like you in real life? Anthony Edwards: No, I'm a puppy-killing brute.

For every star who makes an effort to be literate, witty, or thoughtful (Leno, members of Aerosmith, and, yes, even Bob Hope and Phyllis Diller), there are 10 who blindly follow the irony-free moderators onto the planet Puffery. ''Our guest tonight is the resourceful and lovely Kathy Ireland,'' gushed the host of her on-line conference. ''Actress, model, fitness instructor, new mom, and aspiring VJ — she makes my head spin!'' Correspondents were just as effusive. ''Kathy, you are a goddess to me,'' typed in one Avi Klein. ''I bow down before the holy SIswimsuit issue. I was wondering if there was like any fan club I could join and do your exercises work on guys too?"

Of course, since guys, especially bitheads, still dominate cyberspace, it's no surprise that Star Trek's William Shatner's on-line appearance attracted Prodigy's biggest number of people so far. He also seems to be the closest thing to Henny Youngman in cyberspace. (''Q: What was your most favorite episode? Shatner: June Wilson, who was 16 and I was 12.'')

Up to 10 celebrities a week now appear on AOL, and Prodigy and CompuServe are catching up. So far, some of the most reclusive stars — especially the most reclusive stars — seem to approve. ''It was a very interesting and eerie experience to be interviewed electronically,'' wrote Woody Allen as he signed off. ''I hope that the exposure to the technology will not make me sterile.'' Or make his head spin.