''I don't boss Dan around. I am trying to put him in touch with
his submissive side.''
Roseanne, to Jackie (Laurie Metcalf), on Roseanne
''Okay, I'm not 22. I'm 25. And 13 months.''
Monica (Courteney Cox), to a much younger man she had just slept with, on Friends
''California Gov. Pete Wilson admitted that an illegal nanny
worked for him in the '70s. Upon learning of this, President
Clinton immediately nominated Wilson for a Cabinet post.''
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect
''Russia said it plans to [sell] nuclear technology to Iran.
Hello, Iran? Remember Chernobyl? Buying nuclear technology from
Russia is like getting Willie Nelson to do your taxes.''
Dennis Miller on Dennis Miller Live