Ready to Wear

And ready to bore. Robert Altman's Ready to Wear is a mean-spirited look at the fashion world, set on and around the Paris runways. It is filled with dog-poop jokes and a lot of hand-me-downs from other Altman movies, as well as the revelation — quelle surprise! — that nearly everyone in the business is a heel. The star-laden cast, including Kim Basinger, Marcello Mastroianni, and Sophia Loren, can't manage ensemble playing amid all the ego massage. This frumpy old frock of a film pathetically tries to pass itself off as couture. Video, on which the quick and the slick thrive, makes the lack of oomph even more painfully evident. F