Your calendar says, ''Buy paper towels.'' Martha's calendar says, ''Move chicken yard.'' Your calendar says, ''Lunch with Mom.'' Her calendar says, ''Today show appearance.'' You note when you're going to see Die Hard With a Vengeance. She notes when she's returning from Sikkim.
When reading Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much feels like too much work, there's no better quicker-picker-upper than studying Martha Stewart's calendar at the front of Martha Stewart Living. Martha sprays deer repellent! Martha takes Max and Zoo-2 for heartworm tests! (Who are Max and Zoo-2? Martha's dogs, of course, doesn't everyone know that?) Martha eats latkes with the Chesnoffs! (Who are the Chesnoffs? Hanukkah celebrators, of course, doesn't everyone know that?) That the poor woman's work is never done is enough to make a reader feel positively sybaritic. ''Yes, that's really Martha's life,'' sighs MSL executive editor Carol Kramer. ''In fact, we have to take entries out of the calendar she supplies. Otherwise, it's too daunting.'' We say: Keep deadheading those spent hyacinths, girlfriend, and wake us when the next issue its the stands.