''When you see Casablanca, does it depress you that all the people in it are dead?''
Roger Ebert, challenging Gene Siskel's comment that Hugh Grant's real-life fiasco influenced his impression of Nine
Months, on Late Show With David Letterman
''Al Gore turned down a chance to be on The Simpsons. He explained, 'I've never been animated and I'm not going to start now.'''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
''If you think about it, baseball actually has a lot in common with the O.J. trial: (1) Attendance is down in both. (2) They both feature spoiled millionaires. (3) In both cases, you know somebody's gonna walk.''
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show
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