Sound Bites

Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from July 29 to August 3

''It was at Planet f---ing Hollywood. Who wants to eat chicken wings next to Demi Moore's torn panties from Disclosure?''
Artie (Rip Torn), criticizing Roseanne's wedding, on The Larry Sanders Show

''Clinton's reelection committee so far in 10 weeks has raised almost $10 million — and that's just from his kissing booth.''
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

''Divine Brown sold her story to the highest bidding tabloid. What a whore!''
Garry Shandling on The Tonight Show

''Yankee pitcher Jack McDowell gave the finger to the crowd. He was fined $5,000 and given a New York City cab license.''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night

Originally posted Aug 04, 1995 Published in issue #286 Aug 04, 1995 Order article reprints