''It was at Planet f - - - ing Hollywood. Who wants to eat chicken wings next to Demi Moore's torn panties from Disclosure?'' -- Artie (Rip Torn), criticizing Roseanne's wedding, on The Larry Sanders Show

''Clinton's reelection committee so far in 10 weeks has raised almost $10 million -- and that's just from his kissing booth.'' -- Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect

''Divine Brown sold her story to the highest bidding tabloid. What a whore!'' -- Garry Shandling on The Tonight Show

''Yankee pitcher Jack McDowell gave the finger to the crowd. He was fined $5,000 and given a New York City cab license.'' -- Conan O'Brien on Late Night


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