Just For the Smell of It

So what if Elizabeth Taylor's Black Pearls is in limbo? You can still get other whiffs of greatness. Both the Artist Formerly Known as Prince and the Tenor Still Known as Luciano Pavarotti have recently squeezed their smells into bottles. But which to buy? In the interests of science and fandom, we asked for the opinion of Dr. Alan Hirsch, neurologic director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation, a Chicago-based institute that analyzes odors and behavior. Here's what he sniffed out:

LUCIANO PAVAROTTI PERFUME (for men, at selected department stores).
The scent: Baby powdery and saccharin.
The lowdown: ''It's not masculine. If anything, it's feminine.''
The target market: ''It would take a very secure man to wear it. Like a football player.''
Behavioral accompaniment: ''If you're sweating and you want to cover up that smell. Or [attending] a drag queen ball.''
It's a bad idea if: ''I'm not sure a male would want to wear this to talk to his boss.''
In a random survey: Zero out of 25 men, and seven out of 25 women, would wear it.
It relates to an opera star because: ''It's a very heavy smell.''

THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS PRINCE'S GET WILD (for men and women)
The scent: Grapefruity and flowery.
The lowdown: ''This is not a highbrow perfume.''
The target market: ''Adolescent women.''
Behavioral Accompaniment: ''If you're going to go shopping at Kmart.''
It's a bad idea if: ''You're going to the opera.''
In a random survey: Four out of 25 men, and six out of 25 women, would wear it.
It relates to a nameless rock star because: ''I'd want to remain anonymous when I wore it, too.''