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WANTED: Cautious professional woman seeks loose, wacky gal pal who can prod, provoke, and give advice about men. Next-door neighbor preferred. Such an ad could have been placed by quite a few prime-time leads, who all seem to need...a Rhoda. Someone who, like Valerie Harper's Mary Tyler Moore Show character, will barge through the (unlocked) door to offer wisecracking wisdom. Consider:

MARYANN (Christine Baranski), alcoholic, shopaholic, rich divorcee, and best friend of Cybill (Cybill Shepherd). Style: Designer duds, clunky costume jewelry. What she'll do to get a man: Buys her first postdivorce date several pairs of expensive shoes. Typical quip: ''Here, baby, drink this. It's called alcohol, and it'll make you not care.'' Rhodameter: 4 (with 10 indicating perfect Rhodaness)

GLORIA (Jessica Lundy) on Hope & Gloria, smart-mouthed confidante across the hall from Hope (Cynthia Stevenson). Style: Loud prints, short skirts, red nails, big jewelry. To get a man: Challenges Hope to an arm-wrestling match while competing for a guy. Typical quip: ''My ex-husband, the world's worst salesman, meets my best friend, the biggest sucker on earth. What will happen? Let's watch.'' Rhodameter: 8

DIDI (Mariska Hargitay), ditsy, hot-to-trot neighbor of Annie (Nancy McKeon) on Can't Hurry Love. Style: Retro T-shirts, hip-huggers. To get a man: Leaves a sexy greeting on Annie's answering machine. Typical quip: ''A good date is 3 a.m., tequila stains on your blouse, and your bra in your purse.'' Rhodameter: 8

PAIGE (Joely Fisher), man-hopping Hollywood development executive and best friend of Ellen (Ellen DeGeneres). Style: Platform sneakers, short kilt skirts, slip dresses. To get a man: Asks no questions (boasts of dating ''like 100 different guys'' she knows nothing about). Typical quip: ''I don't get opera. Why do they have to sing everything? Why can't they just say it?'' Rhodameter: 6

ANNIE (Amy Pietz), wry, laid-back apartment-building buddy of Caroline (Lea Thompson) on Caroline in the City. Style: Tight cotton dresses, cut-glass jewelry. To get a man: Helps Caroline throw fruit out the window to get a guy's attention. Typical quip: ''I hate to say I told you so....Actually, I like saying that.'' Rhodameter: 9

-- Kristen Baldwin and Bret Watson


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Posted Oct 06, 1995 | Published in issue #295 Oct 06, 1995 | Order Article Reprints