NETWORKS: THE BIG PICTURE

Pssssssst! Wanna buy a network? What began as a Letterman barb at CBS became the unofficial motto of the TV industry in a deliciously tumultuous year. Against the backdrop of merger mania, NBC and ABC upped their fortune and Fox demonstrated that it won't always finish fourth when it beat CBS in the key 18-49 demographic. In the minor leagues, Warner Bros. (WB) network and United Paramount Network (UPN) launched with much hype — only to spend freshman year getting ratings wedgies from the big boys. As of this week, here's how the networks rank:

1. NBC

It finished second in the 1994-95 ratings race but boasts TV's most enviable slate of young-adult programs, built around a so-far infallible Thursday-night machine. NBC's ratings rebound, coupled with the current seller's market for networks, helped triple its value (estimated at $3 billion a few years ago). Peak Performers: Friends, ER, Seinfeld, Frasier. Best Bets for '96: NewsRadio, Caroline in the City. Free Advice: Keep superdirector James Burrows (Cheers, Friends, Caroline) busy; for comedy presence on Sundays, find better lead-ins for Mad About You.

1. ABC (a tie):

Last year's No. 1 boasts nearly half of this year's top 20 shows. And Disney's planned merger with ABC will provide access to the Magic Kingdom's family-friendly name. Peak Performers: NYPD Blue, Grace Under Fire, Home Improvement, Monday Night Football. Best Bets for '96: The Naked Truth, Hudson Street. Free Advice: Considering no new smashes were introduced last season, scheduling potential hit Murder Oneagainst ER seems suicidal; beware of putting Disney's programming needs ahead of yours (you could use the kind of Gen X-skewed shows found at Warner and Columbia TriStar).

3. FOX

Now that everyone's drooling over Madison Avenue-mandated young and younger demos, Fox, which has been programming accordingly for several years, is considered a threat to all networks. More important, The X-Files makes it okay to stay home on Friday nights. Peak Performers: Melrose Place, Beverly Hills, 90210, X-Files. Best Bets for '96: Strange Luck, Space: Above and Beyond. Free Advice: With The Simpsons peaking and Married With Children sprouting gray hairs, it's time to find a new comedy hit or three (anybody talked to Jon Stewart lately?).

4. CBS

Last season's few hits and even fewer youth-oriented series cauterized the network. New chief Leslie Moonves is expected to change all that, if he can rise above disgruntled affiliates and a revamped lineup with few surefire hits and not many pinch hitters. Peak Performers: Chicago Hope; Walker, Texas Ranger. Best Bets for '96: Can't Hurry Love, American Gothic. Free Advice: Young is nice, but someone's got to program for people who don't Rollerblade, so avoid alienating the audience that made you No. 1. Start by returning Murder, She Wrote to Sundays.

(A distant) 5. UPN

Revisiting the Star Trek franchise with Voyager was smart, if obvious (and propelled UPN ahead of rival WB), but the rest of the blah inaugural schedule was scrapped. Free Advice: Voyager and Nowhere Man prove you can do two things right: How about all sci-fi/psycho thrillers all the time?

6. WB

To attract minority and younger viewers, WB went all sitcom, but series like Cleghorne! feel like rejected pilots plucked from studio dumpsters. Free Advice: Step by Step-style kiddiecoms (now avoided by the majors) are a worthy cause but only with top-drawer talent—Kirk Cameron does not a network make.

—Dan Snierson