DUO OF THE WEEK
Ozzy and Bill
An Ozzy Osbourne tour video, which plays behind the heavy-metal stalwart during his live shows, beats Forrest Gump at its own game: In addition to a hilarious confrontation with Hanks as Gump, Ozzy inhales with President Clinton, vogues with Madonna, and duets with Elvis. Beats biting the head off a bat.
LOSER OF THE WEEK
The channel's Makeover Madness Week, a Regis & Kathie Lee-esque series of viewer makeovers, debuted Nov. 13. We want our MTV, not eMpTyV.