Movie Article

Clueless: Trends and Enemies

A Guide to the "Clueless" Culture

Many a pop-culture phenomenon gets burned (or praised) by the acid-tongued Cher (Alicia Silverstone), Dionne (Stacey Dash), and Tai (Brittany Murphy). But don't go postal if you can't distinguish between ''dope'' and ''tard.'' Here's a scorecard for the clueless.

Television

Winner
Ren & Stimpy (''They're way existential'')

Loser
Twin Peaks (''I'm having a Twin Peaks experience'')

Movies

Winner
Christian Slater (''Let's go to the mall, have a calorie-fest, and see the new Christian Slater'')

Loser
The Rat Pack (''You think the death of Sammy Davis left an opening in the Rat Pack?'' inquires Cher's dad about her fedora-wearing date)

Fine Art

Winner
Botticelli (Cher praises Tai's looks by comparing her to ''one of those Botticelli chicks'')

Loser
Claude Monet (''From far away it's okay, but up close it's a big old mess'')

Music

Winner
Dionne Warwick and Cher (main characters are ''named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials'')

Loser
College radio (a.k.a. ''complaint rock'')

Shakespeare

Winner
Mel Gibson's Hamlet

Loser
Shakespeare's Hamlet (''I remember Mel Gibson accurately,'' says Cher, correcting a pretentious Bard-misquoting student)

Technology

Winner
Polaroid cameras (Cher uses them to plan her outfits)

Loser
Mirrors (''I don't rely on mirrors,'' she says)

Stars Whose Names Begin With B

Winner
The Baldwin brothers (''He's a total Baldwin'')

Loser
Barney (''Eeww, he's a Barney'')

90210 Hunks

Winner
Luke Perry (virgin Cher says she's saving herself for him)

Loser
Jason Priestley (''The jacket—is it James Dean or Jason Priestley?'')

Advertising

Winner
Mentos ads (Tai sings along with the ''Freshmaker'' theme)

Loser
Noxzema ads (after a montage of shots of Cher with her friends, she says, ''You're probably going Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?'')

Originally posted Dec 08, 1995 Published in issue #304 Dec 08, 1995 Order article reprints
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