Many a pop-culture phenomenon gets burned (or praised) by the acid-tongued Cher (Alicia Silverstone), Dionne (Stacey Dash), and Tai (Brittany Murphy). But don't go postal if you can't distinguish between ''dope'' and ''tard.'' Here's a scorecard for the clueless.
Television
Winner
Ren & Stimpy (''They're way existential'')
Loser
Twin Peaks (''I'm having a Twin Peaks experience'')
Movies
Winner
Christian Slater (''Let's go to the mall, have a calorie-fest,
and see the new Christian Slater'')
Loser
The Rat Pack (''You think the death of Sammy Davis left an
opening in the Rat Pack?'' inquires Cher's dad about her
fedora-wearing date)
Fine Art
Winner
Botticelli (Cher praises Tai's looks by comparing her to ''one of
those Botticelli chicks'')
Loser
Claude Monet (''From far away it's okay, but up close it's a big
old mess'')
Music
Winner
Dionne Warwick and Cher (main characters are ''named after great
singers of the past who now do infomercials'')
Loser
College radio (a.k.a. ''complaint rock'')
Shakespeare
Winner
Mel Gibson's Hamlet
Loser
Shakespeare's Hamlet (''I remember Mel Gibson accurately,'' says
Cher, correcting a pretentious Bard-misquoting student)
Technology
Winner
Polaroid cameras (Cher uses them to plan her outfits)
Loser
Mirrors (''I don't rely on mirrors,'' she says)
Stars Whose Names Begin With B
Winner
The Baldwin brothers (''He's a total Baldwin'')
Loser
Barney (''Eeww, he's a Barney'')
90210 Hunks
Winner
Luke Perry (virgin Cher says she's saving herself for him)
Loser
Jason Priestley (''The jacket—is it James Dean or Jason
Priestley?'')
Advertising
Winner
Mentos ads (Tai sings along with the ''Freshmaker'' theme)
Loser
Noxzema ads (after a montage of shots of Cher with her friends,
she says, ''You're probably going Is this like a Noxzema
commercial or what?'')
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