In the year's final episode of The X-Files, FBI special agents Mulder and Scully investigate a rash of ''possessions'' by huge shape-shifting entities of enormous power. As usual, Scully is skeptical.
Scully: This isn't an X-file, Mulder. This is capitalism. Big fish eats little fish.
Mulder: [at his desk, looking over the case file] Seagram's takes over MCA...Disney envelops ABC. Westinghouse swallows CBS. Time Warner's absorbing the Turner empire.... It fits the pattern.
S: What pattern?
M: Remember those peaceable folk who all dressed alike collarless shirts, black sack coats
S: The Kindred?
M: One touched your hand, Scully, and practically had you in the sack.
S: Yes, but he wasn't human. [Mulder holds his eyebrows aloft, waiting.] You mean
M: [nodding] Michael Eisner. [Now it's Scully's turn with the eyebrows.] How else do you explain a $19 billion deal cinched in a Sun Valley parking lot?
S: Oh, and I suppose if we pricked Ted Turner, green goo would dribble out.
M: Or his eyes might yellow as he quadrupled in length, like our old friend Stretch. Listen to this: At the press conference announcing the merger, Mr. Turner said, [He reads.] ''I'm tired of being little all the time. I want to see what it's like to be big for a while.''
S: Mmmm. [The phone rings. Mulder answers.]
M: ...Yeah. Good. Signal corps? I owe you one. [He chuckles.] Yeah...more than one. [To Scully] Wanna visit the Smithsonian?
In an archive of the National Air and Space Museum...
Fenster: Some say radar kept us even in the Pacific War and that uranium decided it for us, but I say
M: Fenster has a lot of wisdom, Scully, but he also has pictures.
F: Oh, indeed. These are just the radiomen. [He offers a sheaf of aging black-and-white glossies.]
S: What's this about?
F: In 1943, members of the Ninth Army operating in New Guinea went schizytalking back to trees, laughing in unison at nothing. These scars were found on the backs of their calves.
M: Identical divots. No entry wounds.
S: Is that the CBS eye?
M: And the Westinghouse W, impressed on GI flesh eight years before the logo was created.
S: So you conclude that an alien
F: Radio waves reach outward forever. Whom would you have contacted first?
S: Bob Hope, I suppose.
M: Scully, it fits. The truth is they're out there watching us on TV! And now they're taking over. They're consolidating the networks and cable and video, movies and music, books everything. Eventually all of our entertainment will be controlled by them and we won't even know it. It won't be like knowing that Viacom owns both Paramount and MTV and that Clueless is a Paramount movie. We'll be at the mercy of some cosmic Clueless House Party! [A beat. He exhales deeply.]
S: Do you think they'll cancel The Real World?