3 Naked in New York (1994, Columbia TriStar, R, $19.95, laserdisc $34.95) When did Congress pass the law that all young directors must make debut movies about the romantic and artistic travails of young directors, and that those movies must all star Eric Stoltz? Okay, Stoltz portrays a playwright here, but the de rigueur screaming self-indulgence is present and accounted for. Wasted amid the whining: Ralph Macchio, Mary-Louise Parker, Kathleen Turner, Tony Curtis, Timothy Dalton, and a swell pop soundtrack.

4 Exit to Eden (1994, HBO, R, priced for rental, laserdisc $34.98) More depressing than the sight of Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd in bondage gear is the notion that someone in Hollywood thought it would be funny. Casting them as cops who trail smugglers to an S&M retreat, Exit stumbled from its kinky Anne Rice source into a no-man's-land of unsexy raunch and queasy slapstick.

5 Love Affair (1994, Warner, PG-13, priced for rental, laserdisc $34.98) You're a famous movie-star playboy and you've just settled in with your dream gal. How better to show your love than by cowriting and producing a remake of 1957's beloved An Affair to Remember for the two of you to star in? Just imitate the earlier movie nearly shot for shot and throw in Kate Hepburn for sentimental points. Next time, Warren, give the gift of diamonds. Or maybe a fruit basket.

Originally posted Dec 29, 1995 Published in issue #307-308 Dec 29, 1995 Order article reprints
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