''Terra firma, my butt.'' -- Comedian Robert Klein on The Tonight Show, about being in L.A.
''It was pretty scary....You know, I woke up at 4:30 in the morning, doors slamming, dishes breaking...I thought, 'How did Shannen Doherty get into my house?' '' -- Jay Leno
''It's too darn cold.'' -- What Kathie Lee Gifford opted to say on Late Show instead of David Letterman's refrain of the night, ''It's too damn cold!''
''For New York City people this is the worst time of year. While you're wearing mittens, it's virtually impossible to give somebody the finger.'' -- Letterman