Sound Bites

Soundbites

The funniest TV lines from the week of March14, 1994

''You don't need my blessing, Sydney, you need serious psychological attention.'' — Melrose Place's Jane (Josie Bissett) when her little sister (Laura Leighton) announces she is marrying Jane's ex-husband

''Hath not a dude eyes? If you prick us, do we not get bummed? If we eat bad guacamole, do we not blow chunks?'' — Keanu Reeves as Shylock in The Merchant of Venice, on The Critic

''I remember after I stopped drinking, like the second or third day I missed something and I couldn't think what it was. And I said, 'Oh, yeah, it's that annoying buzz in my head — it's gone. It's like an old friend has died.' '' — David Letterman, in a rare discussion of his sobriety, to former alcoholic John Larroquette on Late Show

Originally posted Mar 18, 1994 Published in issue #214 Mar 18, 1994 Order article reprints
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