Sound Bites

Soundbites

The funniest TV lines from the week of March 21, 1994

''Ex-husbands are like Crosby, Stills & Nash they just keep coming back older and fatter.'' — Grace (Brett Butler), on Grace Under Fire

''The only real danger here is that after this, I'll fall in love with myself.'' — Jack Nicholson, in a speech at the American Film Institute's glowing salute to him

''One more day! Yesterday you said it was going to be two more days, two days ago you said three more days! What do you take me for, an idiot?'' — Outlaw Ned Zed (Casey Siemazko) thinking he's getting the runaround, on The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr.

''Been surviving on McDonald's. Need to start eating at home more.'' — Jeffrey Dahmer, in a 1990 home video shown on Dateline NBC

Originally posted Mar 25, 1994 Published in issue #215 Mar 25, 1994 Order article reprints