EAT YOUR MAKEUP (1968) Sixteen-millimeter black and white. The story of a deranged governess who kidnaps models and makes them eat their makeup and model themselves to death. Poorly filmed, except for parts. We did the Kennedy assassination sequence with Divine playing Jackie Kennedy climbing over the roof of the car in the pillbox hat and everything. For that alone I'll give it a C+.
MONDO TRASHO (1970) Divine plays a blond bombshell in capri pants who, in one tragic day, witnesses a miracle in a Laundromat, is committed to a mental institution, and dies slowly in a pigpen. A trash epic, way too long. We were arrested (for conspiracy to commit indecent exposure) during the making of that movie. It's got Divine for the first time in gold lame as the trashy persona that Divine later became. C+
MULTIPLE MANIACS (1971) Divine and her boyfriend run the Cavalcade of Perversion, where Divine robs and murders suburbanites. Memorable moment: Divine is raped by a 15-foot broiled lobster. It was my first movie with dialogue, and you can tell-people never stop talking. Heavily influenced by the Manson murders; at the time nobody had caught them, and we wanted to say that we did it. A reaction against the love-and-peace movement and (an example of) what I still do-find the liberals' taboos and make fun of them. B-
PINK FLAMINGOS (1972) The movie that set a still-unmatched standard for midnight cult-film gross-outs casts Divine as a housewife bent on becoming ''the filthiest person alive.'' To this day, the most notorious thing I've ever done. It's a movie I never thought I'd be talking about in 20-some years. The thing I'm proudest of is it still works as much as the day it came out in getting a rise out of people. A-
FEMALE TROUBLE (1975) Divine plays tough-as-nails Dawn Davenport, whose life of crime begins after her mother doesn't give her the cha-cha heels she wants for Christmas. My favorite of my old movies-the only one that's a little similar to Serial Mom. It's the best-written, the strangest, and the closest to my heart. About somebody that confuses crime and beauty. At the end Divine gets the electric chair; to her that's like receiving an Academy Award in her chosen profession. A
DESPERATE LIVING (1977) A lesbian melodrama about an upper-middle-class mental patient who terrorizes her family, then runs off with the maid. The least successful (of my early movies) financially. It's a movie that hard-core John Waters fans like because it's grim. I enjoy it, but it's the last film I would recommend to somebody who hasn't seen any of my films, because it's joyless. B
POLYESTER (1981) Waters' first foray anywhere near the mainstream featured Divine and Tab Hunter as love interests. It played in theaters with 'Odorama,' scratch-and-sniff cards whose scents included flowers and flatulence. I would criticize my writing at the end: The plot twist (in which it's revealed that Hunter is plotting to institutionalize Divine) is pushing it. It was the first R-rated movie I made that wasn't meant to be a midnight movie. It was the interim movie between making really insane movies and really insane commercial movies. A-
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