TOUR: Billy Joel/Elton John, Face to Face Tour
TICKET PRICE/EQUIVALENT: $46-$85, or one thirtieth of a weave from
Hair Club for Men.
VITAL STATISTICS: July 8-Aug. 21; 21 dates in 14 cities (everywhere
except West Coast); Joel and John sing each other's songs and share
the stage twice.
ACCESSORY TO BRING: Volvo key.
INDUSTRY BUZZ: Who needs buzz? Every show is already sold out.
WHEN TO BUY A T-SHIRT: Can you say "numerous piano solos"?
IS IT WORTH IT?: Depends on your tolerance for rehashed
easy-listening ballads from the '70s.
TOUR: Spin Doctors/Gin Blossoms/Cracker
TICKET PRICE/EQUIVALENT: $10-$35, or 32 loaves of white bread.
VITAL STATISTICS: July 15-Sept. 30; 45 shows in 42 cities;
headliners play 90-minute set that changes every night.
ACCESSORY TO BRING: MTV Alternative Nation baseball cap, worn
backward.
INDUSTRY BUZZ: Vulnerable to competition, especially since
hard-touring Doctors may have oversaturated market.
WHEN TO BUY A T-SHIRT: When overwhelmed by patchouli.
IS IT WORTH IT?: What else can you buy for $10? A ticket to The
Flintstones?
TOUR: R. Kelly/Salt 'N' Pepa/Aaliyah
TICKET PRICE/EQUIVALENT: $25-$40, or half of a Karl Kani shirt
(favored by hip- hoppers).
VITAL STATISTICS: Present-June 12; 44 shows in 38 cities; one-hour
sets from Kelly and S'N'P; Xscape to open some dates. (Kelly solo
tour to follow.)
ACCESSORY TO BRING: Fresh manicure.
INDUSTRY BUZZ: Well-heeled hip-hop fans are making this sexy tour a
smash, especially since there's not much else to choose from this
summer.
WHEN TO BUY A T-SHIRT: When R. Kelly points one of his stage
props — a big black cane — right at you.
IS IT WORTH IT?: An intense, hyperactive club vibe — and a great excuse to get
dressed up!
TOUR: Reba McEntire/John Michael Montgomery/Faith Hill
TICKET PRICE/EQUIVALENT: $18-$35, or one pair of Wrangler jeans,
dry-cleaned.
VITAL STATISTICS: Present-Dec. 6; 90 shows in 70 cities;
features McEntire's Nashville-cum-Vegas costume changes and
state-of-the-art stage.
ACCESSORY TO BRING: Matching bandannas for you and your date.
INDUSTRY BUZZ: Last year, Reba's was one of the 10 highest-grossing
tours. Industry experts expect the same in '94.
WHEN TO BUY A T-SHIRT: When Reba starts singing Dolly's pop-schlock
hit "9 to 5."
IS IT WORTH IT?: Why miss the opportunity to see Nashville's
reigning prince and queen?
TOUR: Pink Floyd
TICKET PRICE/EQUIVALENT: $22.50-$75, or 15 'shrooms (not the
cooking kind, either).
VITAL STATISTICS: Present-July 17; 59 shows in 39 cities;
two-hour-plus shows with no intermission. Assume the dirigible is
the opening act.
ACCESSORY TO BRING: Sunglasses to guard against the all-new golden
lasers (previously used only for atom-splitting).
INDUSTRY BUZZ: Outselling the Stones and bringing out families in
droves. A surprise? Hardly — look at the success of their latest album.
WHEN TO BUY A T-SHIRT: When the helicopter sound effects get
louder — and the frightened preteen next to you starts crying.
IS IT WORTH IT?: If you're obsessed with hogs and prisms, you'll
dig it. You know who you are.
