1. CITY SLICKERS II New Yorkers visit a place where there's no pollution, no rush hour. They wonder how people can live there.
2. MICHELLE PFEIFFER The blue-eyed Anglo may play Argentinian Eva Peron in the movie musical Evita. Director Oliver Stone hates deception.
3. THE AGENDA Bob Woodward's new book on the President. His problem used to be getting Nixon's people to talk; now it's getting Clinton's people to shut up.
4. ENDLESS SUMMER II Two surfers search for the perfect wave. God forbid they should find a job.
5. HIGH SCHOOL RESEARCHERS Two California kids may have found the cure for cancer. What dorks, huh?
6. DAN ROSTENKOWSKI One down, 434 to go.
7. HEROIN We should have a War on Drug Treatment Centers so they'd be cheap and easy to find, too.
8. THE TONY AWARDS The theater isn't dead. It's in a rest home near Phoenix.
9. NO MORE FIRST CLASS Airlines are trying a new idea: bad service, worse food. It's called Going Out of Business Class.
10. BROTHER SAM Sam Kinison's life of drinking and drug abuse. You've never read anything like it this week.
11. CALVIN KLEIN'S CK ONE A new unisex scent for men and women. He should know.
12. SUMMER SHARES Why pay to be cooped up with annoying people when you can get that at home for free?
13. GREEN ACRES, THE MOVIE Well, even Shakespeare borrowed his plots. But he borrowed good ones.
14. NBA FINALS Spike Lee may end up a first-round draft choice. Some team will pay him to root for the opposition.
15. SPEED About a city bus that will explode if it goes below 50 mph. Unlike a real city bus, which explodes if it goes over 20.