Sound Bites

Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from June 17th to June 23rd

''Bigamy is its own punishment.''
-Tom Arnold, during his second visit to discuss his second separation from Roseanne on The Tonight Show

''I have this theory that all our big stars have big heads. Have you ever noticed that? Bogart — huge head. Jim Cagney — big head. Nicholson — gigantic head. Meryl Streep — big head. You can go on and on.''
-Billy Crystal, on Larry King Weekend

''He seems to have Kennedy's hormones, Nixon's scruples, and Reagan's memory.''
-Mark Russell, analyzing President Clinton, on Rivera Live

''Would it be all right if, like, next Passover I brought my family here?''
-City Slickers II cowriter Babaloo Mandel, admiring Charlie Rose's big interview table

Originally posted Jun 24, 1994 Published in issue #228-229 Jun 24, 1994 Order article reprints