''I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something women get once a month.'' — Jill (Patricia Richardson) on Home Improvement
''I think Yanni did it first.'' — Lois (Teri Hatcher), about a villain who discovered a sound that made people fall asleep instantly, on Lois & Clark
''I can still remember sitting in a darkened theater with my arm around 17-year-old Mary Jo Rasmussen, trying to get to first base. I even remember the name of the movie: The Lion King.'' — Steve Martin on SNL
''Don't you know anything? If you want the man to suffer, you stay; you don't leave.'' — Roseanne to Jackie (Laurie Metcalf) after she left her husband, on Roseanne
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