''There's always been some excuse: I don't have time. One person can't make a difference. I'd miss Melrose Place.'' — Ellen (Ellen DeGeneres), explaining her lack of charitable endeavors, on Ellen
''Hope you don't mind my stopping by; Maris is hosting the women's league senior yoga group and, well, old money in body stockings ... '' — a shuddering Niles (David Hyde Pierce) on Frasier
''These guys think harass is two words.'' — Grace (Brett Butler), on her coworkers, on Grace Under Fire
''You're not the first sidekick I've been with. One time I did this guy named, um, what's his name? Andy Richter.'' — a hooker, just before Hank (Jeffrey Tambor) kicks her out of bed, on The Larry Sanders Show
