The Week

Guest Stars

There are few things more frightening than stumbling across a celebrity who you thought was dead acting on a prime-time series. A few years back, Abe "Fish" Vigoda was mistakenly reported to have passed away, but we're pleased to note he's alive and kicking the bucket as a Mafia don in Dick Van Dyke's hospital on Diagnosis Murder (CBS, Oct. 28, 8-9 p.m.). Viewers can experience a similarly startling sensation when Phyllis Diller materializes on a Diagnosis competitor, Boy Meets World (ABC, Oct. 28, 8:30-9 p.m.), as a medium who advises Cory (Ben Savage) when he thinks he's turning into a werewolf. We always knew Phyllis was still with us — it's just her career that went toes-up after The Gong Show left the air.

Shorts

Laura Dern is the last Hollywood star to try her hand behind the camera for this season of Showtime's Directed By (Oct. 30, 10:20-10:50 p.m.), and her , effort, "The Gift," is easily the least of the lot. A nauseatingly sensitive tale of a woman (Mary Steenburgen) who turns to her circle of female friends for support after she's jilted by her cad boyfriend (thirtysomething's Peter Horton), Dern's mini-opus trafficks in symbolism so thick you could gag on it (e.g., Steenburgen literally stops to smell a flower at one point). The only fun to be had while watching this sodden affair comes from tracing Dern's connections to the actresses who portray Steenburgen's sisters-in-arms: Isabella Rossellini costarred with Dern in Blue Velvet, Mary Kay Place played her mom in Smooth Talk, and Diane Ladd is her mom. Guess Dern's boyfriend, Jeff Goldblum, wasn't available for a cameo.

Choice Reruns

Christmas has that Grinch guy and Rudolph (cowabunga, Burl Ives!), but Halloween wouldn't be as devilish without an animated treat from those subversive spookers at The Simpsons. This Pumpkin Day brings the latest fright fest starring Bart and company, Tree House of Horror V, along with the last three years' specials, Tree House of Horror II-IV (Fox, Oct. 30, 7-9 p.m.). Highlights of this marathon of past mayhem include Homer selling his soul for a doughnut, Mr. Burns posing as Dracula, a Monkey's Paw spoof, and a tale about a possessed Krusty the Clown doll. And keep an eye on those tombstones that mark each episode's opening, including our favorite, the one commemorating deceased cartoon rival Capitol Critters.