''What is the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoan? Very simple. The spermatozoan has one chance in 6 million to become a human being.'' -Celebrity attorney William Kunstler on Last Call ''Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man-and just stop calling her.'' -Joey (Matt LeBlanc) counseling Chandler (Matthew Perry), on Friends

''Saturday Night Live made fun of me on a fairly regular basis. Do I have any hard feelings about that? Yes I do. And I'll have my revenge when the time is right. Not now. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.''-George Bush on SNL

''We can't control our kids' dreams, Dan. We can only ensure they don't come ; true.'' -Roseanne on Roseanne


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