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''What is the difference between a lawyer and a spermatozoan? Very simple. The spermatozoan has one chance in 6 million to become a human being.'' — Celebrity attorney William Kunstler on Last Call

''Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man — and just stop calling her.'' — Joey (Matt LeBlanc) counseling Chandler (Matthew Perry), on Friends

''Saturday Night Live made fun of me on a fairly regular basis. Do I have any hard feelings about that? Yes I do. And I'll have my revenge when the time is right. Not now. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.'' — George Bush on SNL

''We can't control our kids' dreams, Dan. We can only ensure they don't come ; true.'' — Roseanne on Roseanne

Originally posted Nov 04, 1994 Published in issue #247 Nov 04, 1994 Order article reprints

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