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Movie Commentary

Parents' Guide

Parents' Guide to the best movies for kids -- We give you the lowdown on "Junior," "The Santa Clause," "Stargate," and other movies in theaters now

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By Lois Alter Mark

The much-anticipated holiday movie season is not quite a winter wonderland for children. Hollywood has decked the screens with science fiction, horror, and an abundance of adult-themed flicks — talk about a nightmare before Christmas. Take the kids to see The Santa Clause and The Pagemaster instead. Those are the films their friends will be discussing in the halls between classes.

MOVIES

COBB What It's About: The real story of the legendary Detroit Tiger Ty Cobb (Tommy Lee Jones) as told by sportswriter Al Stump (Robert Wuhl). Will Kids Want to Watch It? No, this is more of an adult drama than a baseball movie, and if you agree with Cobb's belief that ''the children of America need heroes,'' this portrayal will quickly shatter their illusions. MPAA: R. Sex/Nudity: The bare breast of Cobb's mother and full-frontal nudity of her lover; naked prostitutes dance for Cobb and his friends. Drugs/Alcohol:Cobb and Stump drink their way through the movie; Cobb lives on prescription drugs, including injections of morphine and lithium. Violence/Scariness: Cobb's father is murdered; Cobb pistol-whips a man to death; Cobb beats his wife. Objectionable Words/Phrases: About 150 within the first hour alone. Mature Themes: Behind the legends are mere mortals. Appropriate Ages: 15 and over.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE What It's About: New Orleans plantation owner Louis (Brad Pitt) gets sucked into becoming a vampire by Lestat (Tom Cruise). Will Kids Want to Watch It? They'd probably give their eyeteeth to get in, but keep them away. MPAA: R. Sex/Nudity: Full-frontal nudity of a woman being sacrificed to a cult of vampires; a few dalliances with prostitutes. Drugs/Alcohol: The elixir of choice is blood — gallons of it. Violence/Scariness: It's one big bloodthirsty orgy — not for children or the faint of heart. Objectionable Words/Phrases: Two. Mature Themes: Dying as a human is more dignified than eternal life as an otherwordly being. Appropriate Ages: 16 and up.

JUNIOR What It's About: When he's denied FDA approval, researcher Dr. Alex Hesse (Arnold Schwarzenegger) tests a female fertility drug on himself and becomes the first man to get pregnant. Will Kids Want to Watch It? Likely, but unless you want to explain what goes on in the ''reading room'' of the fertility clinic, you're better off taking your own junior to another movie. MPAA: PG-13. Sex/Nudity: None, but lots of biology lessons and a romance with Emma Thompson. Drugs/Alcohol: Hesse's partner (Danny DeVito) has a martini. Violence/Scariness: A long needle is inserted into Hesse's abdomen to implant an egg. Objectionable Words/Phrases: Eight. Mature Themes: People will do anything to have a baby; it doesn't matter how a child is brought into the world as long as he or she is loved. Appropriate Ages: 12 and up.

MARY SHELLEY'S FRANKENSTEIN What It's About: The tragic story of Victor Frankenstein (Kenneth Branagh), the 18th-century scientist who attempted to defy death by creating life. Will Kids Want to Watch It? Yes, because it's a monster movie, but it's much too frightening — and surprisingly profound — for small children. MPAA: R. Sex/Nudity: Frankenstein's naked creation (Robert De Niro) comes to life; Dr. Frankenstein and his bride (Helena Bonham Carter) are interrupted in bed on their wedding night. Drugs/Alcohol: None. Violence/Scariness: Graphic scenes of corpses being cut up; a mother dies during a bloody childbirth; the monster rips out a woman's still-beating heart. Objectionable Words/Phrases: Seven. Mature Themes: Human beings are more than a combination of body parts; you are responsible for the people you give life to; life is not worth living without love. Appropriate Ages: 16 and up.

MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET What It's About: The names have been changed to protect the bankrupt, but this remake of the 1947 holiday classic still features a department-store (that's where the name change comes in) Santa (Richard Attenborough) trying to convince little Susan (Mara Wilson) that he's the real thing. Will Kids Want to Watch It? Probably not, Virginia, sorry. Parents may be wiping tears from their eyes, but kids will be fidgeting and begging you to take them to The Santa Clause instead. MPAA: PG. Sex/Nudity: None. Drugs/Alcohol: A department-store Santa gets drunk; a group of faux Santas drink beer in a bar. Violence/Scariness: Kris Kringle hits a Santa impostor with his cane and ends up in a mental institution. Objectionable Words/Phrases: Three. Mature Themes: Sometimes you just have to go on faith. Appropriate Ages: 6 and up.

THE PAGEMASTER What It's About: Young Richard Tyler (Macaulay Culkin) literally enters the world of books when a crazy librarian (Christopher Lloyd) sends him on an animated adventure through literature. Will Kids Want to Watch It? They'll definitely want to check it out even though Mac is simply a 'toon for most of the film. MPAA: G. Sex/Nudity: None. Drugs/Alcohol: None. Violence/Scariness: Dark, loud, and laden with pirates, sharks, skeletons, and dragons, it may be too frightening for toddlers or sensitive preschoolers. Objectionable Words/Phrases: Two. Mature Themes: Books open up new worlds; friends can help you overcome your fears. Appropriate Ages: 5 and up.

THE SANTA CLAUSE What It's About: At the urging of his son (Eric Lloyd), divorced dad Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) takes over for the big guy with the same initials. Will Kids Want to Watch It? Yes. There's enough humor and charm for both believers and skeptics. MPAA: PG. Sex/Nudity: None. Drugs/Alcohol: Calvin asks an elf for a stiff drink. Violence/Scariness: None, but young children may be upset by the talk of divorce. Objectionable Words/Phrases: One. Mature Themes: Magic happens when you believe; listen to your inner child. Appropriate Ages: 4 and up.

STARGATE What It's About: Colonel O'Neal (Kurt Russell) recruits linguist Dr. Jackson (James Spader) to decode the mysteries of a magical passageway that leads to an ancient Egyptian civilization ruled by the sun god Ra (Jaye Davidson). Will Kids Want to Watch It? No, it's too cryptic and slow moving. MPAA: PG-13. Sex/Nudity: None. Drugs/Alcohol: None. Violence/Scariness: A desert storm of explosions, murders, and one decapitation. Objectionable Words/Phrases: About 10. Mature Themes: One hieroglyphic is worth a thousand words; reading and writing are vital to understanding history. Appropriate Ages: 10 and up.

STAR TREK GENERATIONS What It's About: The present and past leaders of the starship Enterprise, Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart) and Captain Kirk (William Shatner), join forces to save the universe from an alien scientist (Malcolm McDowell). Will Kids Want to Watch It? It depends. Many children will feel lost in space. As for Trekkies — just beam them up, Scotty. MPAA: PG. Sex/Nudity: None. Drugs/Alcohol: Whoopi Goldberg serves up alien drinks as an out-of-this-world bartender. Violence/Scariness: Kirk dies — twice. Objectionable Words/Phrases: Eight. Mature Themes: Family is the most important thing in the galaxy. Appropriate Ages: 8 and up.