Sound Bites

''That's perfect — Brian being a seismologist, and you having so many faults.''
- Frasier (Kelsey Grammer), upon meeting former wife Lilith's new beau, on Frasier

''Let's see...so she's artificially inseminated with his egg?''
- Suzanne Somers, discussing surrogate pregnancy, on The Suzanne Somers Show

''I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.''
-Jon Stewart on The Jon Stewart Show

''Oh, c'mon! My goodness, it's not as if the fetus has to drive somewhere.''
- Nana (Shelley Winters), urging a pregnant Roseanne to have a drink, on Roseanne