Competition isn't the only risk. The clan's initial charm could be drained by massive exposure, not to mention such curious spin-offs as Osbourne beer mugs (isn't Ozzy a recovering alcoholic?), backpacks (though offspring Jack, 16, and Kelly, 17, don't even go to school), and "I'm the f---ing Prince of Darkness" cane-shaped talking pooper-scoopers (where to begin?). "One of the things the audience responded to was how normal the domestic situation was despite the extraordinary life they lead," says Graden. "The question is: What normalcy has been infringed upon by the show?"
Speaking of normalcy, what's the cost of sudden celebrity to the family, particularly the two teens? "The Osbourne children are at serious risk and [the show] borders on abuse," warns Paul Petersen, former star of The Donna Reed Show and founder of A Minor Consideration, a nonprofit group for roughly 600 former child actors that includes Melissa Gilbert and Mackenzie Phillips. "Look two years ahead. If they're tossed on life's scrap heap before the age of 20, what do you think comes next? They've got another 70 years of living to do."
But another veteran of MTV's flash flood of celebrity is less worried. Jack and Kelly "are used to this," says Tom Green, noting that the children of a rock star face less adjustment to fame than others. Still, Green does have some typically deadpan advice: "I was going to say, 'Tell Jack not to marry a movie star.' But that would be cynical now, wouldn't it?"
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