Parents' guide: February 1993
Sometimes you find a kids' movie where you don't expect one: Matinee, not marketed as a family film, has cuddly John Goodman, a bevy of kids, and '50s- style movie monsters. Bill Murray kick-starts Groundhog Day — a treatise on the cyclical nature of time — into giggly overdrive. Then there's Loaded Weapon, a parody seemingly aimed at kids but full of pop-culture references that will shoot over their heads.
Movies:
ASPEN EXTREME
*What It's About: Two Detroit buddies decide to
become ski instructors in Aspen, where they find love and laughs,
then drugs and death. Starts out okay, then it's all downhill. *Will Kids
Want to Watch It? There is some great slope action, but not
enough to give kids a lift. And though at first the film seems like a
comedy, it morphs into a depressing melodrama. *MPAA: PG-13. *Sex/Nudity: A couple in bed (no nudity revealed); a beaten-up, naked man runs around in the snow; a woman's bare bottom and
breasts are shown. *Drugs/Alcohol: Some serious drinking in a bar;
one guy drinks heavily to get over a painful incident; someone snorts
cocaine. *Violence/Scariness: Skier falls into freezing water and
almost drowns; naked guy has been beaten up pretty badly; two friends
duke it out; an avalanche kills a skier; hero punches out a
creep. *Profanity: About 15 curses.
*Mature Themes: Taking responsibility for your misguided actions.
THE CEMETARY CLUB
*What It's About: Ellen Burstyn, Diane Ladd, and
Olympia Dukakis are best friends who spend way too much time visiting
their husbands' graves. Then Danny Aiello enters Burstyn's life,
which threatens to break up this close-knit trio. *Will Kids
Want to Watch It? No. There are a few one-liners that may register, but
older folks and death (unless it's scary and stylized) don't seem to
interest kids all that much. *MPAA: PG-13. *Sex/Nudity: In the dark,
Burstyn puts a condom on Aiello (although we see nothing).
*Drugs/Alcohol: The three women get tipsy at a
wedding. *Violence/Scariness: Aiello gets bitten in a shoving match.
*Profanity: Roughly 14. *Mature Themes: You can't grieve forever.
GROUNDHOG DAY
*What It's About: Obnoxious, arrogant weatherman
Bill Murray visits Punxsutawney, Pa., to cover the Groundhog Day
Festival and finds himself stuck in time, forced to live the same
day over and over again. Clever idea ingeniously executed. *Will Kids
Want to Watch It? Murray's not as goofy as he was in What About Bob?,
though it's still hard not to laugh whenever he's on screen. This
unusually philosophical film is likely to appeal much more to adults
and teens than it will to little ones, though it's certainly harmless
enough for kids. *MPAA: PG. *Sex/Nudity: Murray has sex with a local
woman and with his producer, played by Andie MacDowell, but nothing
is shown either time. *Drugs/Alcohol: Murray imbibing in a bar;
Murray, drinking from a bottle, is tipsy during his weather
report. *Violence/Scariness: Murray slugs a guy; he kills himself five
times (humorously) but always wakes up at 6 a.m. the next morning to
Sonny & Cher's ''I Got You Babe.'' *Profanity: None. *Mature Themes: How
to behave in a world without consequences; learning to accept those
different from you.
HOMEWARD BOUND: THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY
*What It's About: This
enjoyable remake of 1963's The Incredible Journey finds two dogs
and a cat searching for their lost human family. You'll laugh, you'll
cry, you'll scratch. *Will Kids
Want to Watch It? Kids and
animals — need we say more? (Guessing which actors supply the
voice-overs for Sassy the cat and Chance and Shadow the dogs is part
of the fun.) *MPAA: G. *Sex/Nudity: All three of the stars are nude
throughout the film. *Drugs/Alcohol: None. *Violence/Scariness: Some
scary sounds in the woods at night; the two dogs are chased by a
mountain lion; a curious Chance gets quilled in the face by a
porcupine; Sassy — looking like Saturday Night Live's Toonces — gets
swept down a waterfall and is given up for dead; Shadow falls through
some old planks and is knocked unconscious. *Profanity: Zero. *Mature Themes: Shadow's faith and sense of responsibility is an inspiration
to all species.
NATIONAL LAMPOON'S LOADED WEAPON
*What It's About: All the
dumbness of Airplane! and Hot Shots! but without the exclamation
points — or the consistent laughs. Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson
play Lethal Weapon clones/clowns who discover that General Mortars
(William Shatner doing an Art Fern impression) is behind a
cocaine-cookie operation. Best bits: the Basic Instinct parody and
the Mr. Potato Head payoff. *Will Kids
Want to Watch It? It's
certainly silly enough, and there's plenty of physical shtick to keep
the little ones entertained. Yet most of the one-liners, surprise
cameos, and obscure references are aimed at the parent crowd. *MPAA: PG-13. *Sex/Nudity: Estevez in his briefs; Estevez touches Kathy
Ireland's cleavage; scene of Estevez and Ireland in bed together (no
nudity). *Drugs/Alcohol: Estevez makes a giant
booze-and-chocolate-syrup cocktail; Estevez and Ireland drinking some
beers; a bad guy tests some cocaine (not shown snorting it) during a
drug buy; several references to cocaine. *Violence/Scariness: None of
this slapstick violence comes close to realism: There's a shoot-out
in a convenience store with guns, a bazooka, and a flamethrower; two
bad guys are killed in comic, acrobatic fashion; Tim Curry shoots
Whoopi Goldberg five times (no blood); an explosion in water brings
five dead scuba divers' bodies to the surface; Ireland shoots Shatner
in the arm; he shoots her in the chest, but she's okay. *Profanity: About eight. *Mature Themes: Let's hope not.
MATINEE
*What It's About: Schlock-film mogul Lawrence Woolsey
(John Goodman) takes advantage of the paranoia of the Cuban Missile
Crisis to promote his new ) horror flick, Mant — ''Half man Half ant''
(all spandex). *Will Kids
Want to Watch It? Even in the video age,
kids still love to go to the movies, and this film will remind you
why. There are popcorn fights, young love, and ''nurse'' Cathy
Moriarty. Despite some weird stuff, like a poetic greaser hoodlum and
some frightening nuclear-war visuals, this is more of a family film
than the ad campaign suggests. *MPAA: PG. *Sex/Nudity: None. *Drugs/Alcohol: A greaser drinking in a bar.
*Violence/Scariness: Two guys lightly rough up the greaser;
troublesome greaser punches out a kid; two kids get locked in a
fallout shelter; a theater balcony threatens to collapse. *Profanity: Just four. *Mature Themes: How people sometimes fall apart during a
crisis (such as, say, a nuclear attack); the importance of going to
the movies and making out.
NOWHERE TO RUN
*What It's About: Jean-Claude Van Damme in an
update of Shane. Van Damme plays a good-hearted escaped prisoner who
helps Rosanna Arquette and her kids (including a non-Mac Culkin) keep
their home out of the clutches of an evil developer. *Will Kids
Want to Watch It? Even though he doesn't use his martial arts, Van Damme
does use his fists to deliver the action kids love. There's violence
and some explicit nudity, but this film is essentially just the good
guys against the bad guys — a theme kids go for. *MPAA: R. *Sex/Nudity: In the Mel Gibson tradition, Van Damme exposes his butt; Arquette
bares her bottom and breasts; Van Damme fondles Arquette's breasts,
and they make love (a little more nudity is shown). *Drugs/Alcohol: A
cop drinks while driving. *Violence/Scariness: Van Damme beats up
five guys and his friend is shot dead; three bad guys kill Arquette's
cow, then attack her; Van Damme beats them up and three more guys for
good measure; a horse kicks a bad guy in the head; Van Damme sets a
bad guy on fire, then knocks out two more; the meanest bad guy smacks
Arquette and Culkin resulting in a knock-down-and-drag-out fight with
Van Damme (guess who wins). *Profanity: About 21. *Mature Themes: Fighting for rights, family, and property in the face of
insurmountable odds.
SOMMERSBY
*What It's About: After being missing for six years,
Richard Gere returns home after the Civil War — only wife Jodie Foster
and some neighbors aren't sure he's the real Jack Sommersby. Foster's
terrific, but this is a strange period-piece love story. *Will Kids
Want to Watch It? Highly doubtful. There's hardly any action, it's
slow, and it's a love story. Now, if it were called ''Sommer
Vacation''... *MPAA: PG-13. *Sex/Nudity: Gere fondles Foster's very
clothed breast, then they make love (no nudity shown). *Drugs/Alcohol: Gere gets drunk. *Violence/Scariness: A dead body is buried; a couple
of hanging bodies are shown (just the dangling legs); we see a dead
dog; Gere pulls a knife on a passing stranger; Foster pulls a gun on
Gere; the KKK beats up a black man and sets a burning cross on Gere's
land; brutal fight between Gere and a repressed preacher; another man
is hanged (not shown). *Profanity: About 11. *Mature Themes: The issue
of slaves and their new freedom is dealt with (even though the
treatment doesn't accurately reflect the times); the personal price
to be paid for doing the right thing; and, of course, the power of
love.
