News Article

Seinfeld

Like grunge, rave culture will no doubt be coopted by fashion designers and Madison Avenue before long. Perhaps even Martha Stewart, the quintessential queen of decoration and decorum, will get into the act (in the most tasteful way possible, of course). Then it might look a little something like this. 1. LOCATION Should be low-key, have plenty of emergency exits, and be far from the nearest police precinct. 2. SPACE And plenty of it. Empty warehouses, Knott's Berry Farm, or, if not booked, Tori Spelling's house. 3. THE DJ After the location, he's the most important element of your party. Will need two turntables (mucho techno is still on vinyl), and bass-thumping speakers. 4. INVITATIONS Toss these babies off the nearest rooftop. Time and location are traditionally kept secret. Instead, guests are given an 800 number that provides particulars. 5. PARTY HATS If you're going to flip your lid, make it a good one. Stocking, baseball, and jester caps are most popular. Fashion trendsetter, the Cat in the Hat, from the House of Seuss. 6. SMART DRINKS The Energizer Bunny of beverages. One sip and you keep going and going and going. A nonalcoholic nuclear-colored liquid. Our fave rave recipe includes Gatorade and chewable Flintstones multiple vitamins. Ka-boom.

THE HAIR Anything goes-reverse gravity effect preferred. Accessorize with plastic Burger King gimme glasses.

THE MAKEUP The purple lips look cool under strobes. Bonus points for the glow-in-the- dark teeth.

THE SWEATER Classic cartoon characters like Road Runner (Ravus maximus) are big.

THE SHOES Platform sneakers for a natural high (and maximum shock absorption)

THE BACKPACK HOlds Vicks Vaporub (for cheap legal kick), bottled water for rehydration, vitamin C gum for instant energy, hockey mask for anonymity (optional), earplugs.

THE GAZE Appropriately dazed, whether chemically or hormonally induced.

ACCESSORIES Plastic pacifier, ray gun, animals, and duck whistle-the mroe infantile the better. Comforts the inner child.

THE SLICKER Nylon, from the rave's drizzly British roots. Good for when some blissed-out idiot hurls his smart drink.

THE PANTS Above the ankle-the better to see those wacky socks.

Originally posted Apr 09, 1993 Published in issue #165 Apr 09, 1993 Order article reprints
Advertisement

From Our Partners