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1 ROYAL BUGGING Forget charging admission to the palace. Install microphones in every room and put it on the BBC. 2 THE CONEHEADS Mass quantities of people who take film much too seriously. From France.
3 HOT SHOTS! PART DEUX A vulgar, tasteless, and very funny spoof of action- adventure movies. But then, wasn't Rambo?
4 LAST ACTION HERO A screen idol goes on a gun-blazing, real-life adventure. Most kids have to go to high school for that.
5 THE COLORADO ROCKIES The worst team in baseball is drawing the most fans. Now every owner will want one.
6 MICHAEL JACKSON'S RANCH He doesn't have a brand. The neighbors know the animals with glitter in their fur are his.
7 VIOLENCE ON TELEVISION If a Senate subcommittee thinks it's bad on TV, wait until they leave the house.
8 TATUM O'NEAL Reclaiming her career after six years of marriage. Who changes John McEnroe's diapers now?
9 BOB HOPE VS. NBC Will they drop him after 59 years? Not a chance. He's Conan O'Brien's replacement.
10 THE BEVERLY HILLS RETROSPECTIVE For people who forgot how bad television was before cable.
11 WILD PALMS No television show should be more challenging than Jeopardy!
12 HILLARY'S HAIR Front-page news. We're lucky she didn't get a wax job.
13 ELVIS AT AUCTION Someone paid $6,000 for his divorce agreement. A bargain considering what it cost him.
14 CONNIE CHUNG She finally got past the glass ceiling. It shattered when Dan Rather's chin hit the floor.
15 SYLVESTER STALLONE The trailer for Cliffhanger would give Sir Edmund Hillary a heart attack. Not for people scared of heights-or bad acting.
