I'm sitting in my office polishing my gat when this dame slinks through the door and plants her caboose on my desk. Says she's trying to find out what ! happened to film noir. Describes it as about 50 years old, black-and-white, with a thing for doomed gumshoes and blond bombshells. ''Sort of looks like German Expressionism,'' she purrs. ''Only gloomier, more cynical, more French.'' I nod knowingly. ''Last time I saw it was in 1958's Touch of Evil,'' I tell her. ''But word on the street is that it's coming back. A cable outfit called Showtime hired some hotshots out of Hollywood to make a six-episode half-hour noir series called Fallen Angels.'' She bats her baby blues and asks who's involved. ''Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, directors Steven Soderbergh, Phil Joanou, and Jonathan Kaplan,'' I reply. First episode airs at 10 p.m. on Aug. 1. ''As a matter of fact,'' I say, lighting her cig, ''I have some glossies of it right here in my files. Take a gander, sweet cakes. It's the stuff dreams are made of ''


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