UB40: Hip 2 B Square

The men of UB40, the Birmingham, England-based band with the top 10 album Promises and Lies and single ''Can't Help Falling in Love,'' are still just regular lads who appreciate an occasional pint and a good show on the telly. ''I like Married...With Children because it's about me,'' says saxophone player Brian Travers, 34, father of two teenagers. At the beginning of their 13-month world tour, Travers and bassist Earl Falconer, also 34, sat down for an irrelevant chat.

What's the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Brian: The first thing I do in the mornin' is wake up in the afternoon.

What's the one thing your mother told you that you never forgot?
Brian: She didn't tell me anything, except maybe ''What are you doing in me purse?!''

If you could get sucked into a movie, which would you choose?
Brian: Last Tango in Paris. I'd be Marlon Brando's character — I liked his camel hair coat.

Have you ever shoplifted?
Earl: We used to steal anything. Brian: We didn't think of it as stealing, more as liberating for the proletariat.

When you look in the mirror, do you like what you see?
Earl: I don't like it, but I wouldn't change it — maybe if I had an eye where my cheek should be .

What English foods would you recommend avoiding?
Earl: Spotted Dick. It's what the English do with whatever is left in the kitchen.

What's always in your refrigerator?
Brian: The revolver — we keep it in the freezer. And beer. Earl: The next-door neighbor's cat.

Why do you think you always see just one shoe by the side of the road?
Brian: It's shortsighted or stupid thieves who got two left ones.

Do you subscribe to any magazines?
Earl: Mountain Biking. I take my bike wherever we tour. My favorite place is Molokai in Hawaii — 35 miles downhill!

Are you cool?
Brian: It's impossible to be cool when you work with the guys you grew up with. They all remember when you wet your pants — not that I wet mine, but Earl did.