'BOT-ANY

There's been a lot of talk lately about the Culture of Commentary, shows like Dream On and Beavis and Butt-head that recycle pop ephemera. You guys sort of invented the form, no? Crow: Actually, people have been doing it for years. Back in the 1930s, Pete Smith put funny commentaries in films. (Pete Smith's shorts were awarded a special 1953 Oscar.) And Hans Conried did Fractured Flickers in the 1960s, which was a similar kind of thing. Tom: If I may blow a little hot air and pontificate for a minute, this is a time when Hollywood is taking a lot of old and very forgettable television shows and turning them into new and very forgettable movies. Recycling is not always a good idea. I mean, Dennis the Menace-why?

What's this we hear about a MST3K feature film? Tom: We did a live version of the show in Minneapolis last summer, and the crowd really loved it. People seem to enjoy watching MST3K in a group. Crow: Yeah. We appeal to the mob mentality. Tom: So we're going to the big screen in a year or so.

Let's free-associate with the names of other celeb 'bots. Hymie from Get Smart? Crow: Ahh. Dick Gautier. A brilliant robot. Tom: Very plastic, and I mean that as a compliment.

The robot from Lost in Space? Crow: He could have done better on his own-maybe doing Harry Truman in a one- man show or something. Tom: He'd be a good replacement for Michael Kinsley on Crossfire. He'd be tough against Pat Buchanan.

C-3PO? Tom: He's the F. Murray Abraham of robots.

Julie Newmar in My Living Doll? Tom: The word is goddess. Crow: Not enough metal surfaces, but we'll overlook that. Tom: She had the best butt of any robot on TV. Crow: Except Dick Gautier.

Tell the truth, what are you guys made of? Crow: Various Kevlar components Tom: Mitochondrion-size silicon implants . 'Cause, you know, it sort of looks like you're made from an old bubble-gum machine and a plastic bowling pin. Crow (laughing): A lot of people say that. Tom: Yeah, we get that all the time. Crow: How silly. *