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1 CBS' OLYMPIC COVERAGE Like the luge-a perfect run is boring. Stop reading the TelePrompTer. Ad lib and let ad lib. 2 WHAT NEW HAMPSHIRE MEANS As if network reporters would know. They think peeking through keyholes is respectable.
3 FIGURE SKATING Love those costumes! But it's hard to find bolero pants in a size 40.
4 FINAL ANALYSIS The stupid-pet-trick rumors haven't hurt Richard Gere at the box office. Time to start some new ones.
5 THE GRAMMYS I forget-who won the Best Artist, Male, R&B With Country and Gospel Influences, Who Records Only on Tuesday?
6 LOS ANGELES RAIN An Irwin Allen movie come to life. The only things missing were Shelley Winters and George Kennedy.
7 DESIREE WASHINGTON Talk about a double standard. If a man had knocked Tyson out of the ring, he'd have gotten $25 million.
8 ELVIS AND HIS MOM Hard to believe this one got by Nina Totenberg and Bob Woodward, but not the Enquirer. & 9 RADIO FLYER An evil stepfather, a magic flying wagon, and a $30 million budget. E.T. phones The Prince of Tides.
10 HALF-PRICE TUESDAYS Hollywood's latest scam to get you into theaters. How about this idea: Make better movies.
11 NOT! Wayne's World slang goes global. Extreme close-up while I hurl.
12 PAT ''THE GREAT ALIENATOR'' BUCHANAN Ronald Reagan's brain trapped in Larry King's body.
13 THE NEW KIDS IN KOREA Let me guess, were they appearing on Seoul Train?
14 U2 CONCERT TOUR What were the '80s like, Dad?
15 JOSE CANSECO Smashing into his estranged wife's BMW with his Porsche. Damn it, man, buy American.
