Home
1 The Beatty-Bening Marriage
Some women are acting like he was
the only single, rich, handsome Oscar-winning
producer-writer-director-actor out there.
2 WWF Sex Scandal
A shock to the integrity of professional
wrestling.What next — the matches are fixed?
3 Congressional Check Bouncers
Excuse No. 355: ''I knew my
secretary couldn't type, but I didn't know she couldn't add.''
4 Tammy Faye-Jim Bakker Divorce
Jim must have called her ''Bubba''
by accident.
5 White Guys Can't Jump
Oh, I get it. It's okay to make fun of
white stereotypes.
6 Ted Kennedy's Engagement
What a catch — a 60-year-old carouser
with a weight problem. Liz Taylor did better at the Betty Ford
Clinic.
7 Queer Nation at the Oscars
We're here! We're queer! Get...OH MY
GOD, THAT'S BARBRA STREISAND!...used to it!
8 Amelia Earhart
New evidence reveals her last radio
transmission was ''I thought you bought the gas.''
9 The Yoko Ono Boxed Set
A voice that comes along once in a
lifetime. Too bad it had to be ours.
10 Article 99
A movie by the numbers. It should have been 86'd.
11 Movie Stars on Broadway
The thee-a-ta is such a relief from
the phoniness of Hollywood, darling. Ta.
12 Barry Diller
He's gonna buy C-SPAN and add a laugh track.
13 Broccoli
Weren't you kind of hoping Cheez Doodles would be
the cure for cancer?
14 Black Death Vodka
How many times have you said to yourself,
''If only I could drink what Slash drinks''?
15 Spring Break
A good time for the rest of us to visit
America's great museums and libraries. They'll be empty.
