Mutton Chops

It's official. The worst guitarist in the entire universe is Harry Craig, a 29-year-old minibus driver from Alloa, Scotland. Each year the House of Guitars, a store in Rochester, N.Y., sponsors a contest and awards a free guitar, an amp — and a ''dream'' vacation to Rochester — to the entrant with the least musical talent. This year, the store received 5,000 ear-breaking entries on tape from all over the world. ''It was a wretched listening party,'' says Armand Schaubroeck, the store's owner and a judge. As for Craig's abilities, Schaubroeck says, ''He's horrible. He plays notes that are not part of our musical system.'' All this is music to the ears of Craig. ''I'm thrilled,'' he says. ''It still hasn't sunk in.'' —