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Complaining that the gleefully brutal film is not consistent with its values and aims, the Boy Scouts of America sent a letter of protest to the producers of the metaphorically titled Last Boy Scout. But a closer look shows that Bruce Willis' detective Joe Hallenbeck really honors most of the tenets of the Boy Scout Law — in his own way.

* Trustworthy He keeps his promises: ''If you touch me again, I'll kill you.''

* Helpful After catching his wife with his best friend, he offers her useful advice. She: ''I was lonely.'' He: ''Buy a dog.''

* Loyal He sticks by his friends. Wayans: ''You don't like [your wife] much, do you?'' Willis: ''At least I liked the guy she was f---ing.''

* Clean On breaking into an apartment, he thoughtfully warns Wayans, ''Don't touch anything — we don't want to make a mess for the cops.''

* Friendly Held at gunpoint, he entertains a would-be assassin with hail- fellow-well-met banter: ''I'm not saying [your wife]'s fat, but her high school picture was an aerial photograph.''

* Reverent He respects the sanctity of family: ''[My daughter]'s 13 years old, and if you even look at her funny, I'm gonna stick an umbrella up your ass and open it.''

* Courteous Before punching a senator, he inquires about his preference: ''Head or gut?''

* Cheerful Starting each morning with a positive attitude, he tells himself, ''Smile, you f---.''

* Thrifty He saves money on cigarettes by picking up pre-smoked butts from the gutter.


Posted Apr 17, 1992 | Published in issue #114 Apr 17, 1992 | Order Article Reprints