Along with football and pumpkin pie, Thanksgiving '92 brings a cornucopia of film fare. Dracula, Passenger 57, and Under Siege are stuffed with special effects, but their hijackings and transmogrified Transylvanians may unnerve little ones. Even Home Alone 2, with its young hero abandoned in the big city, could be disturbing. Here's the scoop on which films are terrific for kids — and which are turkeys.
Movies
ALADDIN
*What It's About: A boy and his lamp. This year's instant
classic is , Disney's most contemporary-feeling cartoon, with Robin
Williams exhaustingly entertaining as the Rich Little of genies.
Dazzling and tuneful fun. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? Would you like
to own some Disney stock right now? There's plenty of action and
laughs, and not too much romance — a perfect mix for kids. *MPAA: G.
*Sex/Nudity: None, although Princess Jasmine is extremely sexy, in an
animated sort of way. *Drugs/Alcohol: None. *Violence/Scariness: There's a scary cave entrance, a reference to ''slitting a few
throats,'' and some frightening swordplay, but it's far less violent
than most of the cartoons on TV today. *Profanity: None. *Mature
Themes: Don't pretend to be something you're not; put others' needs
before your own. Plus, we finally learn whether it's okay to wish for
more wishes.
BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA
*What It's About: Love and blood, not
necessarily in that order. Francis Ford Coppola's gloriously gothic,
methodically slow take on the Bram Stoker novel has Gary Oldman
playing the bloodsucking prince of Transylvania, Winona Ryder as the
reincarnation of his first bride, and Anthony Hopkins as the weird
Dr. Van Helsing, who has the worst bedside manner imaginable. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? Those expecting Nightmare on Elm Street-type
thrills will, but this Drac can't hold a candle to Freddy for sheer
fright value; this is complexly grown-up stuff. *MPAA: R.
*Sex/Nudity: Two scenes of three bare-breasted vampire gypsies
ravishing a clothed Keanu Reeves; Winona and friend Lucy (Sadie Frost)
share a kiss; Lucy is raped by a vampire creature; several shots of
Lucy's bare breasts; some lewd pictures from the book Arabian Nights;
a naked woman is shown on kinescope. *Drugs/Alcohol: Just some
drinking of intoxicating blood. *Violence/Scariness: Opening battle
scene shows four men being stabbed to death and hundreds of bodies
impaled on giant spears; Dracula's bride kills herself; Dracula stabs
a giant crucifix and drinks from its flowing gallons of blood; a baby
is given to the three gypsies to feed on; a vampire wolf chews up a
woman's neck, spewing forth buckets of blood; three men are shot to
death and six more are fatally stabbed; lots of sensual neck biting.
*Profanity: Five harsh phrases. *Mature Themes: Just what the poster
says: ''Love never dies.''
THE EFFICIENCY EXPERT
*What It's About: Charming film about a
consultant (Anthony Hopkins) hired to cut costs at a quirky
moccasin factory in Australia. He becomes a local hero of sorts after
learning that people are actually more valuable than money. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? Teens will, if they give it a chance; there's
a bit of romance and enough oddball humor to pique their interest.
*MPAA: PG. *Sex/Nudity: None. *Drugs/Alcohol: Hopkins gets drunk at a
party. *Violence/Scariness: A union worker is clubbed by some cops; a
rock is thrown through Hopkins' window, and his car is vandalized; a
boy gets punched in the nose. *Profanity: Just three harsh words.
*Mature Themes: As Hopkins is told, ''Work isn't just about money.
It's about dignity and treating people with respect.''
HOME ALONE 2
*What It's About: More like Home Alone, Too. It's
virtually the same story as the first time, only now Kevin (Macaulay
Culkin) is alone away from home, in New York City. He runs into his
old foes, ''Wet Bandits'' Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, and finds they're
even dumber than the first time. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? Kids
tend to like films to stick to a familiar formula, which is just
about all this sequel does. The vicious, though cartoonlike,
violence is even crueler this time around, and that may bother
parents more than it does kids. *MPAA: PG. *Sex/Nudity: A man takes a
shower, but yo*can't really see anything. *Drugs/Alcohol: None.
*Violence/Scariness: In other words, the whole movie: Bad guys Marv
and Harry trip on marbles; Harry is flipped into the air and smashes
onto a car roof; Marv is hit in the head with a brick four times;
Marv gets shot in the butt and face with a staple gun; both take some
serious falls; heavy tools rain down on Harry's head; Marv is
electrocuted; Harry's head is set on fire, causing an explosion; a
bag of cement falls on Marv's head; Harry falls off a ladder; both
get smashed in the face with a metal bar — twice; Harry is crushed into
a wall by a tool chest; while the two buffoons are climbing a rope,
Kevin sets it on fire; with birdseed glued to their faces, they are
attacked by pigeons. Also, they pull a gun on Kevin and threaten to
kill him — and who can blame them? *Profanity: None intelligible,
though you have to wonder what Pesci keeps mumbling under his breath.
*Mature Themes: A pain-in-the-butt family is still better than no
family at all.
LOVE POTION #9
*What It's About: That old gypsy Madame Ruth (Anne
Ban-croft) gives a nerdy biochemist some magical potion that will
make him fascinating to women, and it works all too well. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? There is a sexual undercurrent to most of the
laughs in this surprisingly funny film, which makes it more
suitable for teens than it is for little ones. *MPAA: PG-13.
*Sex/Nudity: A man and a woman have sex, though nothing is revealed;
a prostitute visits the nerd but nothing happens; a woman straddles
our nerd in a bar in a most suggestive fashion. *Drugs/Alcohol: Just
some social drinking in a bar, plus the addictive nature of a love
potion. *Violence/Scariness: One guy slugs another in the face.
*Profanity: Eleven curses. *Mature Themes: Naturally imposed love is
the best love of all.
MALCOLM X
*What It's About: The still-controversial black leader
and his eventful evolution from hoodlumish thief to charismatic hero.
Spike Lee's inspired direction and Denzel Washington's uncanny
portrayal forcefully bring this enigmatic figure to life. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? The buzz about this year's ''event'' film will surely
draw them to theaters, though they certainly shouldn't take Lee's
advice and skip school to see it. *MPAA: PG-13. *Sex/Nudity: A guy
dies of a heart attack while in bed with a woman, but no sex or body
parts are shown. *Drugs/Alcohol: Some cocaine snorting and a couple
of drinking scenes. *Violence/Scariness: The Rodney King video is
shown; the KKK terrorize young Malcolm and his family and then set
his house on fire; Malcolm breaks a bottle over a guy's head; Malcolm
plays a game of Russian roulette with another man; prison guards beat
up Malcolm; his house is firebombed; a bloody finale ending in one
murder and several injuries. *Profanity: About 49 obscenities.
*Mature Themes: The deep-seated intolerance that keeps the racial
fires burning; the challenge of finding one's true mission in life;
how one person can truly change society.
PASSENGER 57
*What It's About: Die Hard on a jet. After being
captured, the world's deadliest hijacker is transported to
justice — on a plane. Of course, he takes the airliner's crew and
passengers hostage. Fortunately, security expert Wesley Snipes is on
board to kick some serious butt. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? Kids
love action, but parents should be aware that some of this film's
violence is graphic. *MPAA: R. *Sex/Nudity: None.
*Violence/Scariness: This one has 13 fights and moments of pain
infliction, including 16 deaths — by shooting, throat-slitting, and
being pushed out of a plane. *Profanity: About 38 curses.
*Mature Themes: None.
A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT
*What It's About: Robert Redford's
beautifully photographed but slowly developed tale of two sons of a
minister, their divergent lives, and their enduring love of
fly-fishing. The heavily symbolic film was based on Norman Maclean's
autobiographical novella. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? Only those
fascinated by fly-fishing. There's far too little action to keep them
hooked. Despite the film's quality, its subject matter will sail
right over kids' heads. *MPAA: PG. *Sex/Nudity: Two naked butts, one
male and one female. *Drugs/Alcohol: Teens getting drunk in a field;
a couple passed out drunk; the brothers drink boiler-makers in a bar.
*Violence/Scariness: Three fistfights; a scary ride in a rowboat
down a waterfall; a car is driven on the railroad tracks.
*Profanity: About seven words. *Mature Themes: The innate tensions
of family life, particularly within a religiously strict household;
racial prejudice; the death of a family member.
UNDER SIEGE
*What It's About: Die Hard on a ship. When terrorists
take over the about-to-be-decommissioned U.S.S. Missouri, they learn
that the ship's cook, Steven Seagal, can dish it out pretty good. The
fact that he's an ex-Navy SEAL doesn't hurt. Well, actually it does.
Tommy Lee Jones' delightfully manic terrorist more than makes up for
Seagal's monotone stoicism. *Will Kids Want to Watch It? Same story
as Passenger 57, only the violence is even more grisly in this film.
*MPAA: R. *Sex/Nudity: One shot of a woman's naked breasts and
G-stringed bottom. *Drugs/Alcohol: None. *Violence/Scariness: There
are about 9 fights, resulting in some serious injuries and more than
60 killings, most of them via Seagal's martial arts, guns, rocket
launchers, explosions, knives, and even a table saw. *Profanity: About 39 seaworthy profanities uttered. *Mature Themes: Don't mess
with the U.S. Navy — and certainly not with its cooks.
