1992: The Best and Worst Commercials

The Best Commercials:

FEDERAL EXPRESS: 'SECRETARY' A boss who knows how to work a phone (in falsetto) and track his own packages without his secretary's help is a jaw-dropping sight. (Just ask his gawking staff.) Office life like it oughtta be.

LITTLE CAESARS PIZZA: 'STRETCH' Pizza-induced destruction in a hospital corridor (above). Cheesy — but not cheesy.

LEE JEANS: 'ROOMATE': A seat-of-the-pants demonstration of the perils of too-tight jeans: You can't find a thing to wear, and your waiting date runs off with your roommate.

The Worst Commercials:

MITSUBISHI MONTERO/DIAMANTE The word is getting around: People have been known to shoot their TVs at the sight of that damned paintbrush!

ESCAPE BY CALVIN KLEIN: 'POOL' Greased, vain hardbodies dive into water. Viewers dive into the kitchen to avoid drowning in pretension.

WENDY'S INTERNATIONAL: 'WORLD TOUR' The carnivorous Ugly American who can't wait to get back home to his beloved square hamburger. The target audience must be people afraid to pronounce the word croissant.

Love It or Hate It:

TASTER'S CHOICE: 'MYSTERY MAN' If that swanky would-be couple is drinking that much coffee, you'd think they'd be too jittery to wait anymore. Just do it, already.