What the country is talking about this week 1 SISTERS They said it couldn't be done, but NBC has made sex boring and predictable. 2 BASIC INSTINCT PROTEST As a rule, I'm against serial killers, straight or gay.

3 NBA PLAY-OFFS I was kind of disappointed. I thought they said NRA play- offs.

4 WILLIAM KENNEDY SMITH Who says he hasn't been treated like other suspects in violent crimes? He's back on the street, isn't he?

5 EXECUTIVE SALARY INCREASES They deserve it. You think it's easy to fire people in the middle of a recession?

6 QUEEN ELIZABETH'S VISIT Now she owes us a dinner.

7 KEITH CARRADINE Playing the world's first ''good 'ol boy,'' Will Rogers, on Broadway. The antidote to Miss Saigon.

8 THE SPARTACUS RESTORATION Thirty minutes of movie crammed into three and a half hours.

9 DEBORAH NORVILLE Taking over Sally Jessy Raphael's radio show? ABC must have a freeze on hiring professionals.

10 BOB WOODWARD The world's fastest investigative reporter. His new book, The President's Heart, comes out Tuesday.

11 HUDSON HAWK Bruce Willis directed by sick humorist Michael Lehmann. Kind of like The Pink Panther meets Eraserhead.

12 RABID RACCOONS Geez, and just when you thought it was safe to be bitten by a disease-carrying scavenger again.

13 MICHAEL LANDON A lesson in grace under pressure. Everyone hopes he'll get renewed for many more seasons.

14 THIRD WORLD DISASTERS Tornadoes, wars, typhoons, floods, fire, and famine. But first, a word from our sponsors

15 KILLER POPCORN You ate some? Take two Tylenol capsules and call me in the morning.


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