3 SATURDAY MOVIE: THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS (ABC, 8-10:30 p.m.) Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton star in this uneven 1982 musical about the infamous Chicken Ranch bordello. Also stars Dom DeLuise, Charles Durning, and Jim Nabors. C

PAUL REISER: 31/2 BLOCKS FROM HOME (Showtime, 10-11 p.m.) In this new stand-up special, the New York-born comic offers his own perspective on gender differences, traffic courtesies, and technology.

RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S THE REALLY BIG SHOW (HBO, 11 p.m.-midnight) This special starts off with a few minutes of classic Dangerfield on a nightclub stage: ''I was in a bar, they told me to get lost-they wanted to start the happy hour.'' But then he leaves the stage and the hour becomes a showcase for five young comedians, most of whom aren't a fifth as funny. The best is David Tyree, who talks about being black in ways that are both amiably corny (''People call me Folgers because I'm dark and rich'') and ruefully true (''The life expectancy of a black man in America is 63 years old-why the hell am I paying Social Security?''). Next time, though, a full hour of Rodney, please. C+ -KT

4 SUNDAY

NAKED HOLLYWOOD (A&E, 8-9 p.m.) The title of tonight's episode, ''Eighteen Months to Live,'' refers to the average length of employment for a studio chief. Among those interviewed: Twentieth Century Fox chairman Joe Roth (''I've been in this business for eighteen years and I've never felt safe'').

MASTERPIECE THEATRE I, CLAUDIUS (PBS, 9-10 p.m.) Caligula runs amok and turns the Imperial Palace into a madhouse, marrying his sister and appointing his horse to the senate.

DREAM ON (HBO, 10-10:30 p.m.) Martin (Brian Benben) is having trouble in bed, but his therapist (Martin Mull) is too wrapped up in his smoking habit to help. 5 MONDAY

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (ABC, 8-11 p.m.) The Giants and Bills meet at Giants Stadium for a preseason Super Bowl grudge match.

MOVIE: THE SURE THING (Fox, 8-10 p.m.) In Rob Reiner's delightful 1985 update of It Happened One Night, two quarreling college kids (John Cusack and Daphne Zuniga) travel cross-country together. B+

AMERICAN MASTERS-FREDERICK REMINGTON ''THE TRUTH OF OTHER DAYS'' (PBS, 9-10 p.m.) Here's an unusual instance in which this series must prove that its subject is an American master. Frederic Remington (1861- 1909) was and remains an exceptionally popular artist, known for his realistically detailed canvases of life in the Old West, but as narrator Gregory Peck asks, ''Was he a mere illustrator or a great painter?'' Watching this documentary, you'd have to conclude that Remington was a combination of Peck's choices: a great illustrator. We see lots of the heroic, unabashedly sentimental pictures of cowboys and Indians Remington painted for magazines like Collier's and Harper's Weekly. Brian Dippie, a professor at Canada's University of Victoria, notes, ''He gave editors exactly what they wanted: fresh material and a fresh way of looking at it''-not exactly a description of a groundbreaking artist. Ultimately, Remington's work comes across as first-rate pulp entertainment, and this lively hour includes a terrific sequence that demonstrates the way many scenes in John Ford's classic 1949 Western, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon, echo images in particular Remington paintings. B -KT