1. Pee-wee Herman
Putting an end to that ''eunuch'' rumor the hard
way.
2. Baby Boom
Demi Moore, Katie Couric, and Maria Shriver all gave
birth within a week of each other. Tell me that wasn't some Halloween
party.
3. Sean Young
She did get one part for the rest of her life — Cuckoo
Woman.
4. Michelle Pfeiffer
She's such a perfect Catwoman that I'm getting
neutered before I see Batman II.
5. BCCI
Bank of Criminals and Crooks International. The first clue
should have been the statements addressed to Resident.
6. Milwaukee Body Parts
Where were the police 17 bodies ago?
Chasing Pee-wee Herman?
7. Liz Taylor's Eight Marriage
There's one thing a man has to have
before Liz Taylor marries him — her address.
8. Woody Harrelson
How many celebrities can say Dad's in prison for
murder? Three or four, tops.
9. William Hurt
The one time you can see a doctor for $7.50.
10. JFK Jr. and Sarah Jessica Parker
Two young, attractive, rich
people rolling around on the beach half naked. It's either the
Kennedys or they're making a beer commercial.
11. Hot Dogs
Protesters complain they're made of eyeballs and
hooves. And I always thought it was snouts and ears.
12. Cover to Cover
A new TV show based on stories in women's
magazines. And didn't I just read in New Working Mother Woman that
watching TV causes a big butt?
13. The Adventures of Mark and Brian
Two more deejays trying to
break the TV , barrier. The sign for their audience doesn't say,
''Applause.'' It says, ''Jump.''
14. Naked Hollywood
Says agents are slimy, actors are shallow, and
producers are shameless. Is that it, or is there a surprise ending?
15. George Harrison
Harrison's first real tour in 17 years and
where can you see it? Japan. Thanks, mate, have a nice life.
