The Big Slice (1991)

The promo copy on the videocassette sleeve promises that ''crime doesn't pay without a little imagination.'' And that's exactly what you get in the desultory action comedy The Big Slice: little imagination. Young Guns' Casey Siemaszko and Cocktail's Justin Louis play would-be novelists researching opposite sides of the law while trying to concoct a best-seller from real-life experience. Along the way, they get distracted by telephone-sex aficionado Heather Locklear (TV's Dynasty) and gun moll Leslie Hope (Talk Radio). The leads are flat except for the coquettish Locklear, the supporting characters are stereotypes, and the plot gracelessly meanders through burlesque, parody, adventure, romance, and slapstick. It's difficult to conjecture what was running through the minds of those responsible for The Big Slice, but it's easy to see why they avoided the embarrassment of a theatrical release. D